The problem of discipleship, namely in parenting
How are we to disciple our children? That is, how do we raise children who love God and their neighbors without subjecting them (and ourselves) to legalism?
One might answer, “We show them, by example.” After all, faith without works is dead. But how do you show someone what takes place in the heart? Who can discern the heart? Check yourself…are you discipling your children by taking them to “church”, praying with them, singing spiritual songs to them, and teaching scriptures to them? These things edify, indeed. But where is the line between legalism and true love of God?
I am convinced that the way to disciple our children, or make disciples of them, is by bearing the fruits of the Spirit. The fruits of the Spirit are evidence of what takes place in the heart. Children will quickly learn this as they experience the world. They will see that these fruits are good, and that worldliness opposes them. Though it is of great importance that we pray with our children (even teach them to pray), read scriptures to them (teach them to read it for themselves and memorize it), sing spiritual songs to them, and bring our children into the assembly of believers for fellowship and worship; I believe that these are not enough by themselves. The world can do all this and still produce dead souls. Look at the Muslims! But a soul that loves God will bear the fruits of the Spirit (which cannot be imitated by the world). The Spirit will not be eluded! We cannot bear the fruits of the Spirit without the Spirit! We need the Spirit in all we set ourselves to.
We must test ourselves, to see if we are in the faith. Are we in the household of faith? When we go through the day with our children and spouse, are we loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle, self-controlled? As Jesus once said, “The world will know you by your love for each other.”
A meaningful quote
Consider Romans chapters 6-8 very long and you will find it difficult to be free from the law and legalism without sinning all the more that grace may abound. This quote has been extremely helpful to me and influential in my life. I hope it might be for you as well.
“The relationship between legalism and freedom is like the story of Jesus calling Peter out of the boat to walk on the water and join Him. The ocean is like the law-still present after salvation (it hasn’t gone away). However, our relationship to the law has changed. Now instead of trying to stay afloat in it, swimming, we are called to walk on it! How do we do that? Keep your eyes on Jesus. If you take your eyes off Jesus, you will sink. Look to Jesus to guide you across the ocean of the Law-He will safe keep your morality.” John Piper
