Selfishness vs. Self-centeredness
“The distinction is not unimportant. One of the happiest men and most pleasing companions I have ever known was intensely selfish. On the other hand I have known people capable of real sacrifice whose lives were nevertheless a misery to themselves and to others, because self-concern and self-pity filled all their thoughts. Either condition will destroy the soul in the end. But till the end, give me the man who takes the best of everything (even at my expense) and then talks of other things–rather than the man who serves me and talks of himself, and whose very kindnesses are a continual reproach, a continued demand for pity, gratitude, and admiration.”
–C.S. Lewis, Surprised by Joy
Experience
“What I like best about experience is that it is such an honest thing. You may take any number of wrong turnings; but keep your eyes open and you will not be allowed to go very far before the warning signs appear. You may have deceived yourself, but experience is not trying to deceive you. The universe rings true wherever you fairly test it.”
-C.S. Lewis, Surprised by Joy
The measure of distance
“The truest and most horrible claim made for modern transport is that it ‘annihilates space.’ It does. It annihilates one of the most glorious gifts we have been given. It is a vile inflation which lowers the value of distance, so that a modern boy travels a hundred miles with less sense of liberation and pilgrimage and adventure than his grandfather got from traveling ten. Of course if a man hates space and wants it to be annihilated, that is another matter. Why not creep into his coffin at once? There is little enough space there.”
–C.S. Lewis, Surprised by Joy
Novelty
It would seem to me that all of humanity shares a common need, outisde those most obvious (food, shelter, water), which I find surprising. The need for novelty; which, following the fall in the garden, results in the propensity toward boredom. This need, and it’s consequential futility, can be seen everywhere I look. The thousands of ice-cream flavors. The shopping habits of females. The way a man will float from woman to woman. So often we are fully prepared to diagnose the problem…boredom. But I believe our best attempts at a cure are suppressive and denial. The real matter is people have an insatiable desire for novelty. It cannot be suppressed without negitive consequences. It cannot be blotted out. It cannot be denied. It cannot even be satisfied. Is this, then, an excuse for a woman to find fulfillment in a new blouse every week because she can’t find anything in her closet to wear, or a man to commit adultery against his wife because he was bored with her? Certainly not. These are symptoms of a deeper problem–a pure God-created need is not being met. Yes, I am suggesting this need for novelty was God’s design. So then, following in accordance with scripture which says all things are from Him and to Him and through Him, this insatiable need for novelty is from Him and must also be met in Him and through Him. An infinite God with glories and beauty and adventures unsearchable is the only true cure for our need. It is quite ironic to be given a need that cannot be met; which, in fact, works itself in a circle. However, the God who put it in us had a clear purpose that we should meet this need in Him alone. For, being eternal as He is, there is no end to Him. We will never encounter His finale. We can search Him forever more and be completely fulfilled (ironically) in our insatiable need for novelty. He is new and fresh every morning. So rather than subcoming to boredom and seeking novelty in all the wrong places, we can seek God and save ourselves from false satisfaction. The next time you find yourself wanting a next dress or a new woman, consider that perhaps you may be in need of a healthy helping of God’s newness.
In the words of C.S. Lewis, “further in and further up.”
Society
“Friendship has been by far the chief source of my happiness, acquaintance or general society has always meant little to me, and I cannot quite understand why a man should wish to know more people than he can make real friends of.”
-C.S. Lewis, Surprised by Joy
My Valentines
Truly I am blessed. I’m in awe of my three valentines…my husband and my two boys. I have received so much love– by way of affection, poetic words, service, teaching, sacrifice, even drawings–from my husband that my heart can barely hold it. And I was overcome, overwhelmed by my oldest son’s affection to me today. While putting them to bed in our nightly ritual, he clung to my neck and wouldn’t let me go. So I lay there for some time in his arms. My 4 year old boy, who hardly knows the meaning of Valentines, melted my heart. I will treasure it in my heart all my days. And sweetest little Daniel…I’m undone sometimes when he looks at me with his big eyes and says mama. Three valentines!
Joy as described by C.S. Lewis
“It is that of an unsatisfied desire which is itself more desirable than any other satisfaction. I call it Joy, which is here a technical term and must be sharply distinguished both from Happiness and from Pleasure. Joy (in my sense) has indeed one characteristic, and one only, in common with them; that fact that anyone who has experienced it will want it again. Apart from that, and considered only in its quality, it might also equally well be called a particular kind of unhappiness or grief. But then it is a kind we want. I doubt whether anyone who has tasted it would ever, if both were in his power, exchange it for all the world. But then joy is never in our power and pleasure often is.”
The Holy War continues
“I say, therefore, though your enemies without, had you taken heed, could not have made a prey of you; yet, since you have sinned against your Prince, your enemies within have been too hard for you.”
-John Bunyan, The Holy War
Conceit and Duty
“However strange it may seem, to do one’s duty will make anyone conceited who only does it sometimes. Those who do it always would as soon think of being conceited of eating their dinner as of doing their duty. What honest boy would pride himself on not picking pockets? A thief who was trying to reform would. To be conceited of doing one’s duty is then a sign of how little one does it, and how little one sees what a contemptible thing it is not to do it. Could any but a low creature be conceited of not being contemptible? Until our duty becomes to us common as breathing, we are poor creatures.”
-George MacDonald, The Wise Woman
Life’s Joy
What makes the battle worth the fighting?
What makes the mountain worth the climb?
What makes the questions worth the asking?
The reason worth the rhyme?
To me the answer’s clear, it’s having someone near, someone dear.
Someone to care for, to be there for
I have you two
Someone to do for, muddle through for
I have you two
Someone to share joy or despair with, which ever betides you
Life becomes a chore unless your living for…
Someone to tend to, be a friend to
I have you two
Someone to strive for, do or die for
I have you two
Could be we three get along so famously
‘Cause you two have me, and I have you two too
Someone to care for, to be there for
I have you two
Someone to do for, muddle through for
I have you two
Someone to smile with once in a while with
Whenever you’re lonely
I’ve a happy lot, considering what I’ve got
But I couldn’t do more than you do for
Your poor mother
Things go asunder and I wonder
Why you bother
Could be we three get along so famously
‘Cause you two have me, and I have you two too
-Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
